Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
