the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
