just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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