And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
