Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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