you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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