why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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