I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize
