barbara walters just said penis...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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