So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
