dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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