she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
