I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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