why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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