We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
