Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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