If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
