The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think a kid would responsible me up
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
