pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
