you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
