If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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