I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
