VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize