is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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