and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize