he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
