I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
