i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
