I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize