checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
