my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
