sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I am one with the molecules
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
