Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
