i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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