they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
