he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
