the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize