...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
