thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
People in love make me want to vomit
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
