Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
