Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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