i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
When are your genitals available?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
