I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
