I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize