I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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