Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize