I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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