Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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