Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
