you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
