if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
