R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
