I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
