Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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