3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
