Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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