so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
