Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
