Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
