do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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